The Storytelling Forum

Stories of Loss and Grief: Finding strength and healing

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:42:00 -0400

Thank you for attending the Storytelling Forum on stories of loss and grief. Below please find some resources we have compiled - and feel free to email Roxanne and Katherine to add your own suggestions!

“The most beautiful gift we can give the grieving is validation.” – Angie Cartwright

“I know why we try to keep the dead alive: we try to keep them alive in order to keep them with us. I also know that if we are to live ourselves there comes a point at which we must relinquish the dead, let them go, keep them dead. ” - Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go. - Mary Oliver

Where Words Fail: Stories of Loss on This American Life

The art of losing isn’t hard to master, says Elizabeth Bishop — poetically.

Katherine’s blog on coping with loss and grief: http://helpingfriendsgrieve.wordpress.com

Meghan O’Rourke, author of The Long Goodbye, shares her thoughts on grief:

Online communities and grief:

http://writingthroughthefog.com/2012/03/18/online-mourning-and-the-unexpected-refuge-of-facebook/

More on the conversation: http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/29/digital-diary-talking-about-death-online/

Roxanne, on Surprise Grief

Uncertainty: Stories of leaning into the unknown, leaps of faith, and transitions

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 10:19:15 -0400

Thank you for attending the Storytelling Forum event on uncertainty and transitions! Please see below for some of our favorite resources on the topic — and email Katherine and Roxanne to add your own!

Tiny Beautiful Things: The book that stemmed from Cheryl Strayed’s “Dear Sugar” column.

J.K. Rowling’s commencement address on uncertainty and the fringe benefits of failure

One of Roxanne’s favorite quotes on improvisation in moments of change, by Joan Didion, narrated by Drew Faust: “Improvisation. Joan Didion, a writer who has been charting our responses to change since the 1960s, has a memorable passage describing how her husband said they’d begun a trip to Paris in the right spirit: “He meant doing things not because we were expected to do them or had always done them or should do them,” she wrote, “but because we wanted to do them. He meant wanting. He meant living.”

Alone, Together, and Everything in Between: Stories of Love & Companionship

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 21:15:00 -0500

Thank you all for your interest in the Storytelling Forum on love, solitude, and companionship. As you prepare for our story-sharing on Tuesday, browse the following resources for inspiration. At the conclusion of Tuesday’s event, we will ask for your own suggestions on resources to include to this list. Until then, enjoy reflecting on this theme, and we are looking forward to sharing stories with you!

Susan Sontag on Love: Illustrated diary excerpts on Brain Pickings.

Also on Brain Pickings: Famous (and illustrated) definitions of love, from 200 years of literary history.

And there is always friend love, and the Rumpus’ beautiful take on it.

How to Be Alone, a visual poem and video on solitude.

A This American Life episode devoted to “What I Did For Love”, individuals’ stories as they try to make sense of being alone and together.

Some of Roxanne’s thoughts on long-distance love and loneliness.

And more on distance, permanence, making homes, and companionship - by Cheri Lucas.

“In Which an Expat Aid Worker Talks Long Distance Relationships”

And a more cynical take on long distance relationships by “Stuff Expat Aid Workers Like.” Too cynical for some, just right for others.

“When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.” - Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

“Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.” - Cheryl Strayed

About the Storytelling Forum

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 14:46:00 -0500

There is a wealth of stories in the Fletcher community. We each carry with us the stories of those alongside whom we have worked, those we have served, those we happened to sit next to on a bus, those who have led and taught us. We carry with us moments that have challenged our understanding of ourselves and the world, caused our hearts to break or love, and touched us in ways we understand or seek to. In class, we use these stories and the experiences they have informed to learn how to become more effective practitioners in our chosen fields. We tell the stories of others, be they agencies or individuals, foreign or similar to us.

In this forum, we will tell our own stories. How have members of this community experienced grief and loss? How do we make our peace with the loneliness that pervades field work? How do we reconcile our passion for our chosen work with the challenges it can present for our personal lives? How do we carry with us the heartbreaking or inspiring stories and moments shared with people who cross our paths? Through stories, we hope to increase our awareness of our common and shared experiences – and to find inspiration from the divergences of stories where those experiences differ.

How the idea was born

Roxanne and Katherine share an interest in the themes of memory, conflict, and vulnerability and a passion for the art and craft of storytelling. Inspired by conversations with their classmates about the personal dimensions of our chosen work and life paths, they wanted to create a forum to share those experiences and navigate the more intimate parameters of the pursuits that motivate each of us.

FAQ

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 14:46:00 -0500

Who is telling these stories? We are! This is a forum for students to share their own experiences and tell their own stories, and the stories of those who have influenced their lives. Why would we want to do that? Because we believe in the power of stories, and wanted to carve out space for them. More here.

Do I have to share? Can I just listen? Sharing stories becomes more powerful when participants in the discussion engage and contribute — but you can share to the extent that you are willing and comfortable!

What are some of the topics I can look forward to discussing? Since its inception, the Storytelling Forum has tackled topics such as “when work becomes personal”, the solitude and companionship we seek in an international life, and notions of family and home. We are looking forward to discussing uncertainty and transitions, grief and loss, endings and beginnings, moments that humble or inspire us, and more topics of your choosing in the future!

What sorts of stories did you have in mind? The moderator will provide some guiding questions for reflection, but the format is open and flexible for people to tell stories in any way they are inspired to. This is an informal attempt to discuss what we care about — in the way we would in our living room with friends, at a coffee shop, or in an email to loved ones. If you are seeking storytelling inspiration, wander over to our Storytelling Resources page.

Why are you limiting the groups to 20 people per night? We feel that this will enable everyone to share and listen meaningfully and to engage with the discussion in a way that makes everyone feel included. There will be many, many opportunities to participate in subsequent storytelling nights. If you want to join the waitlist for an event after it has reached its attendance cap, email us!

What can I do to prepare? We will circulate some reflection questions to the participants of every storytelling night, as well as some resources they can browse if they are seeking inspiration. Beyond that, show up ready to share and listen!

How can I nominate a topic for a storytelling night? The Fletcher community can suggest future topics for discussion. Existing ideas for future storytelling nights include the joys and challenges of an international life, questions of loneliness, solitude and love, navigating grief and loss, understanding gender and race, and more! Want to submit your own? Email Katherine and Roxanne!

I am nervous this will be awkward. So are we. We are embracing the uncertainty and vulnerability of stories, and the inspiration we can draw from each other. Take a leap of faith and join us.

I am sold. Sign me up! Announcements about storytelling nights will be posted on the Social List and on this blog — so watch this space! We ask that you RSVP only if you are certain you can attend and if you can be present for the 2 hours of the event.

Save the Date

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 14:46:00 -0500

WHAT: The fourth Storytelling Forum

WHEN: Tuesday, February 19, 2013, 6.30-8.30 PM. Sign-up begins on January 24th!

TOPIC: Uncertainty: Stories of leaning into the unknown, leaps of faith, and navigating transitions

WHY: For the love of stories.

***

“Play is one of the only human endeavors where uncertainty is actually celebrated. Uncertainty is what makes play fun.” – Beau Lotto

“There are only questions. There are no definite answers…this shared uncertainty is comforting.” – Cheri Lucas

Notions of Family, Notions of Home

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 10:17:00 -0500

Thank you all for your participation in the Storytelling Forum on “Notions of Family, Notions of Home.” We greatly enjoyed sharing stories with you! See below for some of our favorite resources on the topic — and we’d always love to hear your own!

Andre Aciman’s, Alibis: Essays on Elsewhere is a collection of essays on the notions of home and away, motivated by the author’s experiences with immigration, wandering, family, and travel.

Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts, was suggested by a fellow student for inclusion on this list. It was also voted to be on of the best books of 2012.

Another fantastic suggestion by a fellow student: A documentary on Rites of Passage.

Michael Shapiro, A Sense of Place. Travel writers from Pico Iyer to Paul Theroux and Isabel Allende talk about their craft — and about the art of making a home (or abandoning the search for one in favor of a more nomadic life).

This American Life, “Will They Know Me Back Home?” A segment devoted to “stories of people who’ve grown so accustomed to wartime that the lives they’ve left behind no longer make sense.” Stories range from an Iraqi translator to a US war veteran.

Isabel Allende, My Invented Country. Stunningly beautiful memoir.

This American Life, ”Away from Home.” Stories of people “going home to places they’ve never been before.”

{Some of} Roxanne’s thoughts: Making Homes Out of Numbness | The Involved Places | Crumbs of Home | When the Bookmarks Change

Steve McCurry photographs “Going Home.”

What would you add to the list? What conjures home and family to you?

When Work Becomes Personal

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 09:00:52 -0500

We will continue to populate this page with resources related to work becoming personal, stemming from our discussion at the first Storytelling Forum on November 14, 2012. Feel free to email us resources you’d like included.

Mindfulness for NGOs is a blog-initiative to raise awareness on the psychological pressures and challenges aid workers and other service-based professionals face. Browse the archives for more.

A paper on resilience of humanitarian workers.

Similarly, an academic study on burnout and psychological stress for aid workers.

A discussion on “Compassion Fatigue” and vicarious trauma.

Jessica Jackley, the founder of Kiva (TED) talks about a lot of what we addressed in our discussion: “Poverty, Money — and Love.”

Becoming a freelance diplomat?

Why work doesn’t happen at work.

***

Send us your favorite articles, thoughts, blogs, and talks and we will update this list!

Storytelling resources we love

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:30:00 -0400

Ira Glass, noted for his segment “This American Life” on National Public Radio, discusses his vision of the art and craft of storytelling.

TED identifies its “master storytellers.”

Also on TED: Brene Brown extolls the power of vulnerability, Chimamanda Adichie cautions against the danger of a single story, and Isabel Allende tells tales of passion.

StoryCorps, an NGO whose mission is to inspire and enable individuals to record the stories of their lives.

The New York Times examine the question of “who is the storyteller?” in this Voice of the Storyteller feature.

Tim Sheppard’s FAQ for Storytellers.

Some favorite quotes on the power of storytelling

“Someone needs to tell those tales. When the battles are fought and won and lost, when the pirates find their treasures and the dragons eat their foes for breakfast with a nice cup of Lapsang souchong, someone needs to tell their bits of overlapping narrative. There’s magic in that. It’s in the listener, and for each and every ear it will be different, and it will affect them in ways they can never predict. From the mundane to the profound. You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows what they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.” - Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus

“There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.” - Maya Angelou

“We come together as a community — in our sitting room, in sacred space or in a coffee shop. We share our joy and pain, our surprises and disappointments, successes and failures and we try to make some sense of it all. We listen to find some way to connect. We give reassurance or advice. Sometimes we say nothing because just being there is enough. Storytelling is that moment when we are not alone.” - Louise Erdrich